Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Letting Go

November 8, 2013

By Bellisana
We’re going to put off our examination of numbers and numerology to talk about letting go. It’s something we all have to do at some time or another, whether it’s a relationship, an object, a dream, or all three. Nothing can make either the decision leading up to it or the actual stepping away easier. This is something that is hitting home with me right now as I let go of a 30 year relationship that is no longer what I need it to be. The decision was a long time coming, and even after making the decision, and ending the relationship, putting it away takes time.
As a result of this, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it takes to bring us to the point of making the decision to let go of something long term. I saw a meme the other day that I really liked, and to a large degree I can’t help but agree. “You don’t stop loving someone. You either always will, or you never did.” There are, of course, extenuating circumstances, but in general, even when you decide the relationship is no longer working for us, we don’t really stop loving the other person; the form that love takes just changes, generally because of events and actions on both parts.
Except in rare cases, no one person is responsible for the end of a relationship. Sure, in some cases, one party is abusive, or cheats, but in most cases, just as it “takes two to tango,” it takes two to end a relationship as well. That brings us to some of the reasons that we sometimes find ourselves in a position where we have to let go. When we spend many years, or sometimes, even a few months with someone, we develop a dynamic within the relationship that at its best nurtures and fulfills both parties and works well for those involved.
When a relationship ceases to fill that function and no longer provides what both parties need, sometimes we have to sit down and examine what we want from the relationship, and what we are getting from it. We eventually have to ask ourselves what it is about the relationship that isn’t working for us, and if we can fix it, and if we even want to fix it. Sometimes after trying to fix something multiple times, we just give up, and sometimes that’s the best thing for us.
In order for us to be able to start a new relationship, or a new phase in our lives, we have to step away from the relationship, or people that are keeping us from moving forward. Sometimes, we have to step away just to rediscover who we are and accept ourselves again. It’s easy to tell ourselves everything is okay, and those things that are not perfect are probably our fault, but sometime, the part that is our fault is simply letting someone else take the lead in a direction we don’t necessarily want to go.
We think to ourselves that because the direction they are going is a good direction as far as they are concerned, it’s a good direction for us. That is just not always the case. Sometimes we get so far from our inner selves that we forget who we are and get caught up in a world or way of life that is just not what we want for ourselves. We wake up one day and realize we are living a life that we didn’t even choose for ourselves.
When that happens, we have to sit down and examine our goals, minds, and emotions to determine what it is that we personally want. This is one of those times when I cannot emphasize the benefits of meditation enough. This is one of the best ways to get inside your psyche to discover what you personally want and whether you are on the right path. Sometimes we find that the answer is no, and then we have to let go before we can get back to the person we are meant to be.
Another way we can discover our true inner feelings is through working with runes or tarot cards, or even the numerology that we started discussing last week. Whatever it takes to find out what you truly want for yourself is what you need to do when you find yourself in a situation that is not fulfilling you like it should, or like it used to. We must learn to stop settling for things that don’t give us what we need, and the only way to do this is to not let ourselves get so caught up in our day to day lives that we forget ourselves and settle for less than we deserve.
Once we make the decision to seek another path, and we have stepped away or left the situation, then come the next hard part, letting go emotionally and mentally. How do you stop thinking about the person or situation, and second guessing yourself? I tend to over schedule myself, and to stress eat; however, I’m working very hard had channeling that into more healthy avenues such as exercise and taking time for myself. I’m no different than you in that area. We all have ways that we deal with things that we don’t like, or that stress us. The struggle for most of us is to deal with them in ways that nurture our whole being rather than just going for the short term satisfaction of things like chocolate or other vices.
What do you do when you need to put something behind you and forget it? We welcome your input, so please feel free to share your tips with others, either here in the comment section below, or on our Facebook page.
“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ― Ann Landers
Bellisana